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3/9/2008 5:10:25 PM
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administrator
Posts 34
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Salam Alaikum Everyone,
When you think about marriage and that special person who Allah has for you, what do you think about? What do you imagine your life being like? What do you expect from that person in means of support financially or emotionally and what do you plan to give to them in return? Is house work for the woman only? Are women suppose to stay at home? What do you think?
I thought this might be a good brain excercise to help getting some of you chatting on the forum and open up about what you think, maybe you just want to get married but have not thought everything through or maybe you have and could really give some good advice to others... either way lets get some good conversations going on here.
Peace,
Sister Heather
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3/10/2008 7:50:18 AM
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brightuk16
Posts 5
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AOA,
This is a very interesting topic you have and I guess I'll be the first to give my opinion and thoughts - which i must say have changed over the years.
During my teenage years, I had imagines the fairytale wedding and fairytale life after marriage but I guess it doesnt exist and marriage is a constant hard work.
When I think about marriage and that special person whom Allah (swt) has chosen for me I think of someone who fears Allah (swt), whom loves Allah (swt) creation, who is kind , caring and loving to elders, children, to people he knows and those that are unknown to him. a warm smile that draws anyone closer to him. I guess I would like someone who can love me unconditionally, whoms love grows stronger by the day. Financial support is important but its not as important as emotional support. I like to live within my means and whatever my means are I am able to adjust my life accordingly, this is not to say I wouldnt want my partner to be unsupportive in financial aspects as it is a duty of a husband to support his wife and children.
My Dad or my brother-in-law only have to step in through the front door and both my sister and my mother can recognise them by their foot-steps. I've always wondered and often asked them how they know its they're other half, they laugh it off and say "you just do". I guess I wouldnt mind that.lol.
Marriage is a commitment for life, blessed by Allah (swt). It is not about one person controlling the other, not about who is superior that the other. As the only one who controls and is far superior that others is Allah (swt). Marriage is about respecting each other in every sense. Respecting each others views, opinions, space, needs, parents, commitments. Like they say marriage is about 'give and take', and both partners need to balance the two.
A womans duty is to look after the house, husband and children but in my opinion if she is able to do all her duties then she should if she wishes to go out to work. I think this is quite important for a woman to work, even if its just a few hours a week, as staying at home day after day can drive anyone insane. lol. Like all the brothers, sisters also need they're own space and in my opinion it would be beneficial for both.
This is just my opinion, would love to hear of others opinions.
Allah Hafiz
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3/22/2008 5:39:10 PM
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zainab41
Posts 2
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Salams,
A tough (good ) topic. As a sister without experience, i guess a good islamic marriage starts with good intentions between the couple. To me this means that the couple sincerely (not forcefully or falsely) except each other including the couples circumstances as they are towards the purpose of fulfilling the duties as husband and wife, and as parents (when children come) for the sake of Allah. In my opinion the potential couple have to try to look at the big picture, not only how they can love and satisfy eachother (tho a must) emotionally and sexually, but also must consider parenting(how would they want to bring up children (if they were to have them), and how spiritually compatible they are (how they might grow) . To my view, the meaning of an Islamic marriage is not just a good union btw a couple; it is a contribution to society, selflessness, and a chance for people to be all they can be, and to love each other unconditionally. I really hope I didn’t come off too preachy and philosophical, But I guess my point is theirs is a reason why marriage is half of the deen.
Salams to all Asiya
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3/24/2008 12:20:34 PM
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frsalaam
Posts 2
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Asalaam alaykum warahmatullah.
Well, i would like to congratulate our sister Zainab41 for her explanation of the meaning of marriage in islam generaly.
The way she put it in our table is verry simple and understandible to anyone who really think about it.
I agree with her that we have to look for our own contribution in the society and the future of our community rather than to focus only on the love of couple. The first thing we must know as a muslim, in marriage you are going to become a parent and you better start to think about what the meaning and a role of parents inside the family and outside?! ( to you both Husband and Wife). We should always keep remind ourselves the propuce of this life to all of us: We are sheppards and everyone of us is responsible and will be asked by Allah ( s.w.t )about everythings they have the othority on it.
May Allah ( s.w.t ) guide all of us in right direction, wasalaam alaykum warahmatullah.
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6/8/2008 8:13:50 PM
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lovely_dang
Posts 1
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being a muslim woman, i believe marriage is not only a life time commitment but a complete submission to someone which you think Allah has given to you.
edited by lovely_dang on 6/8/2008
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6/29/2008 11:41:37 AM
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muslimheart2008
Posts 3
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marriage is a committment, a promise made before yourselves and almight Allah to love ,honor and respect each other until your death. What it curtails in that responsibility is something all together different. If you meet someone and you must spend time talking and getting to know things about each other.If you decide that you want to marry, you should discuss things like finances, children, discipline , careers, home, etc.... You need to both have the same opinions, and ideas about these subjects, b/c if you do not there will be friction and problems from the begining, which can lead you both to harbor resentment and frustration and over time this is not good for marriage. It takes committment, responsibilty, maturity and integrity to stick with it and make it work no matter what. You must be willing to work hard and give 100 % to each other and be loving and supportive of each other especially in the bad times. Compassion, mercy and forgiveness are the tools to a successful union, b/c we are human and Allah created us to make mistakes, so we can learn.You must be teachers for each other, take from one another qualities that can make you a better person.Laughter is the best thing you can do for each other and make time to just be together.Once the marriage has taken place, be a man and do not abandon your wife no matter what!!!!!!!!!
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7/16/2008 10:30:05 PM
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simplicity786
Posts 1
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Salam,
Being a muslim we have diffirent concept of marriage from others.for us its enough, that it is sunnah of our beloved prophet (peace be upon him).In islam it is called"half belief"One time our prophet (peace be upon him)said,Nikkah is my sunnah,who deines this,he is not from us.
It is the only thing which saves us from jumping into 'Haram"May ALLAH (azawajal) guide us the right way,and bless us which is good,istead of what we are hunting for...
Wassalam,
saleem1478@yahoo.com
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8/30/2008 11:10:42 AM
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oumyahya
Posts 2
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salamou alaykoum
if you ask everyone in this earth what is marriage, the answer would be the same no matter how they say it. It is the gathering of two people to start new life different different from the one they had before, i mean being single. For me marriage is like a bag it has two hands and need to be held by two people to go on, each one of these two people who are meant to gather in the name of marriage brings with him or her things from his single life such as past experiences, the way he or she lived with family, personal thoughts, some stereotypes about the other, feelings towards oneself and toward the other, and so on... they bring all this and put in this bag, the bag they are meant to handle togheter. Sometimes while moving on with the bag, there somethings to get rid of, some bad feelings, some selfisheness,for this reason and for the success of this process, which is handling well and moving forward with the bag, they need some accessories, definitely required accessories, such positive communictaion, respect for the other, being patient, and sharing.
Of course if all this is done in good religious terms and the blessing of allah it would be perfect
this is how i see marriage
thank u all for sharing you way of seeing marriage
salam
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9/13/2008 6:57:09 PM
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ZeeshanQazi
Posts 2
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AsSalam Alaikum,
Marriage means a lot of things to lot of different people. I think everyone here knows the dictionary meaning of marriage as a union between a man and a woman to live the rest of their lives together, and in their mutual term together do things for themselves, and the society as a whole. Marriage to me means a lot more. It means:
- It is to share all the good in my life with my wife, and to protect her from all the bad in my life.
- It is to prosper hand in hand with my wife not just in this life, but also in the hereafter.
- It is to raise good obedient and responsible children, who are not just good for the parents, but the entire society as a whole.
- It is to respect and cause her to respect God's law, without hurting mine or her feelings.
- It is to cherish all her gifts, and allow them to evolve and grow, as Mother nature cherishes trees and plants to grow.
- It is to love, respect, support and please her, while staying obedient to God's Commandments.
- It is to teach her things, and learn things from her.
- It is to trust her, and protect her faith and trust in me.
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10/11/2008 10:49:14 PM
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turklands
Posts 2
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As my sisters and brothers mentioned above matrimony doesnt mean two people sleep together everynight and have children every nine months!!! Its not a play or leisure time activity. Its a very risky affair if both men and women dont know their responsibility. Absolutely, uniqeness reserved for only Allah, He created us with our naseeb yet we should be really careful about for the right person and think about it on and on. Marriage is not as its in hollywood or bollywood movies. Thats my opinion.
I know I am very pessimistic but you should be a good critic before getting off the train.
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1/23/2009 8:54:11 PM
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nubiah
Posts 9
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A.S.A I'm A Young woman but I Know the world is full of Tricks & Evil So Allah Subhan Wa Ta Allah Show me To Keep on my Prayer & Be patient with myself & my Husband Take time & Get to Know him Love Him Keep Him Safe Forgive Give him Children Or Adopt if u Can't - God Know All So Complete your Deen & Be Happy with the Muslim Man you Choose & He'll be happy with you & the Plasure you give on your Wedding night Allah will be her to Obey him & Don't fight it's a NoNo Talk it Out. Please Thats what it means to me - Till Jugdement Day Insha Allah. Salaam
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1/23/2009 8:58:13 PM
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nubiah
Posts 9
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Hey I write fast & there is no Spell check on this site _ forgive brother & sisters. Peace
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2/13/2009 9:22:18 AM
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sarikayaa
Posts 1
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hello everybody.
I think marriage means sharing everything such as happiness , love, or the bad things maybe difficulties , sharing the life shortly .
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2/27/2009 6:00:47 PM
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osamah
Posts 2
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Marriage...
It succeed just only if HE coexists with HER nature & SHE coexists with HIS nature, & if HE and SHE consider that pleasing Allah and Following his religion is the criterion in thier relation.
It is the practical aspect of LOVE, no true love without marriage & no successful marriage without love.
Salam
Osama Hafez
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5/19/2009 4:31:49 PM
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springrose
Posts 1
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bismi Llah Rrahmani Rrahim,
salam alaikoum brothers and sisters,
i just joined and i m very happy to find such environment mashae Allah. it s a very good idea also to be able to share point of view in a matrimonial site.. congratulations to the administrators and jazak Allah kheir!
well, i appologize for my english it ll be quite difficult for me (since i am arabic/french speaker) but i ll try inshae Allah and hope my msg will be clear and comprehensible inshae Allah.
so, what marriage means..
for me, it s the complicity, the consideration for the other, and especially most of sharing, (for someone like me who s just looking for sharing all the time lol)..
personnally, i am 26 yrs old and lhamdou Llah reached some success in my little life lhamdou Llah and seeking for Allah s satisfaction..i really feel as there is a big lack in my life which needs to be fulfilled
i had some experience living far from my family..and just understood what is the need of having someone beside. someone who u r engaged with and who s engaged with u.
another point is that when u r generous lhamdou Llah and a very caring person u need to give all that to someone special and very closed who values it and knows how to return it to you.
Marriage surely means stability also..it gives somekind of serenity..
it should never be a source of monotony..some people stop progressing once married as if it was the point to reach.. i think that marriage should be a start rather..a way to take "a deux" seeking for Allah satisfaction..
and it s of the responsability of both to keep it lasting whith the help of Allah swt.
Allah knows better, may Him guide us to the right. amine
salam alaikoum.
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6/28/2009 11:22:24 PM
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sayan
Posts 2
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the relationship in which both can stand aly along side with each other in any sitution any
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7/28/2009 8:06:17 PM
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aminarose
Posts 2
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Salaam everyone,
Marriage is a very wonderful union with the right person. Trust and loyalty is first and foremost. It is to have your significant other there always, thrugh good and bad. Unconditional love. I have yet to find it and I wish it for all insha allah.
alhamdu lillah
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2/28/2010 9:58:21 AM
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Posts
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Marriage is one of the great Sunna adopted by the Holy Prophet (Peace be Upon Him). The holy prophet also told his sahabah as well as his entire umma to adopt this sunna
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